Try Asking Instead Of Telling….

Most people expect their dog to accept everything without question. Would you? Have you ever tried asking your dog to do things for you? Or to allow you to do things to them? What is wrong with asking for permission at times? This is called cooperation and it really helps any relationship that you have. It gives them choice and decision.

We have redefined a relationship with our dogs to one of a dictatorship relationship. Replace dog with human – how would your brain process that? Would you be happy? I know it’s not your intent – you don’t realize you’re doing it.

Monty’s old owners used to wrap him in a towel to try to cut his nails and someone always got bit in the process. He was being disrespected and made to be scared – being forced to do something he didn’t want to do. And it wasn’t being done on his terms at all. If someone wrapped me in a towel and started forcing me to do anything – it’s going to be game on. We really need to think different.

It took a bit with Monty to understand that I was asking to cut his nails – giving him “choice” so to speak. When he’s laying down calmly, I’ll grab the clippers, kneel down in front of him and present the clippers to his face. He will lick them if the answer is yes – I clip his nails. He clearly shows me if he’s not in the mood – so put them away and try again later. It’s not a big rush, he will accept at some point. I’ll get this on camera at some point.

When I give Monty his cannabis oil – most times he’s the one letting me know he wants it. He watches me as I load the syringe. I present it to him, if he licks it then he will let me open his mouth and squirt it in. He licks it off and it’s done. No fuss at all. If he doesn’t want it, he turns his head. Try again later before bed. If I try to force his mouth open, it could hurt him for one. And he’s got jaws like a little gator. And number 2 – I’m being disrespectful. It’s such a simple thing right? The way I do it – it’s not a big deal, there is no fuss, no muss. In less than a minute his front paws are done. I don’t need to counter condition or desensitize him for anything – cause I ask.

It even comes down to picking him up. Dogs need to trust that you handle them without dropping them – it’s a trust thing. I’m not a fan of people picking him up – but if you do – do it like you mean it, don’t hesitate or he’s going to squirm and want down. Show him that you know what you’re doing. So many times he doesn’t want to walk or he’s tires. So he shows me that he wants to be carried for a bit. No big deal, maybe he wants to be close to me, up in my arms for a few minutes. It’s not a big deal. When he wants down, he tells me to put him down.

It’s about cooperation – not control.

When we go to a dog park, it’s his time, not mine. If I didn’t have a dog, I probably wouldn’t be at the park. There is no rush, it’s his choice to do what he wants to do. Some days he wants to lay down and chill for a while. Bake in the sun and watch the goings on in the park. When he’s ready to go for a walk, we go for a walk and I tend to move at his speed. It’s his time to get out and be a dog, I don’t care what we do. A dog park is the therapy there is and it doesn’t cost a cent. I love dog parks.

People find him really funny at a dog park – he’s usually not that close to me. He’s off 30 or more feet away laid down, but he’ll come and check on me. It’s his time to get away from me – we are together 24 hours a day and he wants some alone time. Fair game, it doesn’t bother me cause I understand what it is that he’s doing.

When we go to a pet store, I know exactly where he’s going to head – to the cashiers to get treats and affection, he’s loves them. And most times, I’m cool with that cause it doesn’t happen very often through summer and fall. Or we are heading for the treat aisle. It’s expected. Make time for it. These are his positive consequences in his life – the little positive reinforcements that he desires. I don’t want to take those away from him – removing an animals positive reinforcement is called punishment. It’s removing the animals desires – the animals wants and needs. It wouldn’t be fun for him to be dragged around the store, and it’s no fun for you either – it becomes a chore. I enjoy being out with Monty in stores.

If I consistently stopped you from getting what you want – your positive consequences/reinforcements – you wouldn’t like it either. And you would understand the word punishment a whole lot more – cause people punish their dogs far more than they realize. And it’s not your intention. It’s not about blame – it’s about understanding.

People need to step back and think about something. Would you even be at a pet store if you didn’t have a dog? Would you be at a dog park if you didn’t have a dog?

So – why is it all about the control?

It’s OK to ask.